Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
