if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize