Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
