finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
