He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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