just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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