You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
