Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
