I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
