oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
