it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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