How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Princesses don't give blow jobs
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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