Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
