Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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