this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
