We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
