i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Come on in and take your pants off
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