Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
