Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
