I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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