Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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