i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
