My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
