White coat. Heels.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize