I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize