just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
