his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
