Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
