I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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