but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
