Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
