I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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