when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
