That's intense
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize