I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
