this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
