I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize