I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
