what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
