you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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