she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
