Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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