I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize