I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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