she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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