The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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