Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
