idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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