You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
