what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
