she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
