Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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