So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
