I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
