you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
