I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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