This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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