...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
