I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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