can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
