The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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