a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want a musical about memes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
