Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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