i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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