what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
