it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
