Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
