the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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