I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
