that's an acceptable place to lick
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
