Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
