It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
