My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
