And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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