i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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