I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize