Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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