It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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