i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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