My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize