I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
